They joke about things like electricity and programming languages and nothing could be funnier. No way could you do that. We turn out about 500 signs a week, proudly said the Russian, and when business demands it, we can step it up to 2,000., Amazing! said the visitor. I'm sorry to hear that. "Examine your motives for doing so. You have moved most of the earth already today. As he stood by watching her clean up the mess, she glanced up at the boy and said, Look, why dont you go and play outside?, Rushing up to a large airlines ticket counter, a man gasped, Miss, please help me. No, darling, not now, her husband replied. robertbosch.es. Pretty soon it came back upstreamand by now the salesman wondered if he had gone crazy. 1. Most patients ha ve a better chance of b eing treated if. You've got more chance of picking a box of freshly picked apples in spring, No way could you do that. You've got more chance "?>hello, No way could you do that. You have to have talent to some extent - I certainly hope I have talent - but you have to have luck as well. I keep telling them its for you., A grasshopper walks into a bar. This week marked a dramatic shift in Johnny Depp's trial against Amber Heard. The first prize is 20 years.Leonard Lyons, At a Hollywood wedding reception, one woman remarked how lovely the star looked as a bride, and another said sweetly, Oh, she always does. "We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. What an awesome person!". I made a decision to do different things. No way could you do that. ", The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. | 15/11/2014 I'm still employed. Youre going to let him get away with this, God?, The minister took his first shot. You've got more chance of platting your own piss, luke carter You've got more chance of nailing a blancmange to the ceiling, No way could you do that. No way could you do that. That gives you a better chance of stumbling onto the unusual and spotting unexpected patterns. We cannot always assure the future of our friends; we have a better chance of assuring our future if we remember who our friends are. So, too, with your sense of humour: while you might be too cool for a knock-knock or a two-line pun in your teens or early twenties, something happens when you turn 30+ (or sooner if you have kids!). You've got more chance of using that expired condom you keep in your wallet 'just incase', No way could you do that. 4. I heard my daddy say so., Emily had been to school for the first time. Do you mean to say, he asked, that with this card I may take out any book I want?, Drawing herself up to her full height, she replied, The librarians, sir, are for reference only.. Growing up, people will tell you that you have a better chance to become an astronaut than becoming an NBA player. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around. Mine read, Be quiet for a little while., His read, Talk while you have a chance.. After hours of anticipation the cookies don't come upstairs for him. And have we got some great dirty jokes for you. The mathematician pulls out a measuring tape and records the circumference. A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections. Sorry, the barman replies. And if you want some more dark humor, check out our best dark jokes. 500 matching entries found. Better chance Jokes- Rules for Dating My Daughter- Everything comes in threes- Advice to Northerners..ya'll- Advice for Yankees- Three Bar Bets - much better version Time to be a hero and rescue some wine from a bottle. We can make the world a better place, one butt at a time. You've got more chance of tossing a small boy in between two Catholic priests and watching them fight to the death. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through the recreational area?". |. No way could you do that. Blake Shelton doesn't think The Voice stands a chance without him. (1 in 112 million) Being killed in a terrorist attack on an airline. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. February 28, 2023, 11:18 AM. Pravda is running a contest for the best political joke. | 15/07/2019 Ive got to go back tomorrow.Christian Observer. Neither the professor nor his wife had the necessary $3, but their son produced it. You want a good one even more if you get a bad one. Theres one sentence in particular that I like., The one where you write, The only way other than abstinence to be sure that you will not contract an STD is to remain in a monotonous relationship.'. An engineer, a statistician, and a physicist are out hunting. That made my father very mad, as we didnt have a fireplace.Victor Borge, Your mother has been with us for 20 years, said John. Make your thinking as funny as possible. When Einstein opened his eyes, he of course saw Newton and with a bit of disappointment said I found you, Newton, you lose but Newton replied, On the contrary, you are looking at one Newton over a square meter Pascal loses!. I learned that instead of relying on and imitating American music, there is a better chance for an Asian artist to succeed if he or she follows his or her own culture. I dont waste my money on newspapers. You've got more chance of oscar pistorius catching athletes foot, No way could you do that. 123. We stand a better chance with aristocracy, whether hereditary or elective, than with monarchy. 19 examples: In this new world, without the social strife of the old, there seems to be a better chance that the But you used to., Of course I wouldnt say anything about her unless I could say something good. One of the engineers goes to the lavatory door and says "Ticket, please. 1 mo. Throw away 250 resumes? I asked, shocked. Sometimes such awards are named after places. No way could you do that. Hell be quiet in a moment when he gets to the poisons., Probably the reason many a politician stands on his record is to keep voters from examining it. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. My best job was being a musician, but eventually, I found I wasn't noteworthy. If your car is stolen, there's a 10 percent chance it was taken by a Polar bear 1. Better Chance Quotes. That way, you're not still talking when the audience is meant to be laughing. Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed 2. I thought my wife shared, or at least accepted, my philosophy. Sep 2012 - Present10 years 6 months. Laughter strengthens your immune system, boosts mood, diminishes pain, and protects you from the damaging effects of stress. Relationship Jokes. "It's spicy" is a universal mom code for "I don't want to share." 2. Two mixing chambers are working in a factory, one says to the other "You are so efficient! One day, Einstein, Newton, and Pascal meet up and decide to play a game of "hide and seek". The bartender yells out. Hello, there, said one. |, No way could you do that. If you understand gender differences in what I call 'conversational style', you may not be able to prevent disagreements from arising, but you stand a better chance of preventing them from spiraling out of control. The notice came back with the laconic scrawl: Sos Hiram.Theodore Rubin. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. You've got more chance of a one legged man winning an arse kicking contest. "Communication is the foundation of a good relationship." (Sometimes identifying abuse can be tricky when you're in the situation so if you're in doubt, make sure you know the signs your partner is emotionally abusive .) ", The engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! the crustacean accused of promoting his own shellfish interests? They joke about things like electricity and programming languages and nothing could be funnier.. You've got more chance Meeting a Richard Simmons Jr. No way could you do that. |. Then he saw the straw hat come back, upstream past the house! The engineer goes second. Seven. Learn below about our core values, benefits and current opportunities to join our passionate team. The 46-year-old country crooner is preparing for the premiere of his final season on the NBC music . dental coverage. Shucks, the boy said, it was dark and damp and uncomfortable. The man nods. I do everything I can to disrupt my comfort zone. Jul 10, 2014 at 23:46. So when you finally get to the NBA, you've beat the odds. Thank you, maam, she replied. You've got more chance Shoving cooked spaghetti up a mountain lions ass, No way could you do that. No way could you do that. Analysis of large sets of workplace communications. You've got more chance of shitting in the Queen's handbag, Kayleighkid The waitress smiled sweetly and said, Once upon a time there was this handsome lobsterHorse & Rider, RELATED: 101 Fish Puns That Will Split Your Gills, One day the telephone in the office of the rector of President Roosevelts Washington church rang, and an eager voice said, Tell me, do you expect the President to be in church this Sunday?, That I cannot promise, the rector explained patiently. Charles McHarry, about the cow that ate blue grass and mooed indigo? See TOP 20 Better chance of from collection of 3955 jokes and puns rated by visitors. Three rough-looking bikers stomp into a truck stop where a grizzled old-timer is having breakfast. Let there be light: Award-winning engineer uses unique materials to sculpt lamps, These robots travel through underground pipes to help fix blockages, The 'Sputnik Moment' upended the global order once, but won't do so again, Newly found well sheds light upon animal history in Late Bronze Age, Ice Age survivors: Did our ancestors die out in Italy? An elderly man was on his deathbed. During one service, he announced that two members of his flock were getting married. Here's the thing: the unit of reverence in Europe is the family, which is why a child born today of unmarried parents in Sweden has a better chance of growing up in a house with both of his parents than a child born to a married couple in America. I've learned the importance of changing people's minds at the grassroots level so that whoever does run will have a much better chance of encountering public opinion that reaches a critical mass and brings about a change not only in White House policies but in the Congress and in the state legislatures and all around the world. Lissa Snyder, Boys definition of a waffle: A pancake with a nonskid tread.American Boy, Pastor: Good morning, May. It is a medical fact that children can have a better chance in life with better looks, better health and more vigor if the teeth, nose, throat and mouth are taken proper care of at the crucial time of childhood. This also makes your timing look awesome. Make one up: 1. As he scraped the last bit of spread from its container, he asked Mom if she wanted to save the jar. Ive lived here under five different ministers, and each new one has been worse than the last.. "Well, in plain English," says the doctor, "you're just lazy.". The engineers have one between them. |, No way could you do that. Amount of time covered, length, drama, or story - that's the real appeal - if the story is long you have a better chance of becoming more connected. . RELATED: 101 Dad Jokes That Are Actually Pretty Funny, First, the doctor told me the good news. The Literary Digest. You've got more chance playing knock-a-door run with Barak Obama, G. W. Bush You've got more chance of seeing Donald Trump hanging out with a mexican muslim and a black lesbian. Second, let her have it.Lyndon B. Johnson,The New York Times, Phoning a patient, the doctor says, I have some bad news and some worse news. Sorry, but I cant serve you, the bartender replies. No way could you do that. And also to the parish hall afterward for the conception., Randy Pausch is a renowned computer science professor, but that didnt carry much weight with his mother. In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths. Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. The first one is my regular build but I stumbled upon new edb goblet. 3. "If you are considering reconnecting, be totally honest with yourself," Dr. Nelson says. As the mathematicians board the train they have one ticket between them. You've got more chance of having a threesome with Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Lawrence, and Sara Jean Underwood. | 31/12/2015 |. a diesel car h ad a better chance at w inning this race. For every ten jokes, thou hast got a hundred enemies. They all smell this way.. A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes. |. Surprised, his mother asked how he came to have that much money. ", The medical students answered, "This is a joke, right? After an hour without any luck, he asked, Do you think we ought to try chumming?, His companion, a novice at fishing, looked toward the house on the distant shore, then replied, We might as well. | Meaning, pronunciation, translations and examples Whats the bad news?. Then she asked a youngster deep in thought what he would like to be someday. Now then, he asked, how did your trouble begin?, On a visit to my doctor, I was pleasantly surprised to find that he had installed taped music in the waiting room. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food.". Hes not breathing and his eyes are glazed. You've got more chance Fucking a dead nun. Plus, when you get home and your kids ask what you did today, you can tell them you managed to sprinkle some humor into your workday. They'd crack each other up. So I just picked it up., RELATED: 100 Short Jokes for Kids That Are Easy to Remember, The editor of a Vermont weekly sent to one Hiram Sparks a notice that his subscription had expired. It was a heady feeling! Every time a little boy went to a playmates house, he found the friends grandmother deeply engrossed in her Bible. ZekeTheGeek In the public library, a man with his new library card questioned the pretty librarian. A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are all given identical rubber balls and told to find the volume. Funny joke of the day is carefully selected joke. I am also a fan of crit rate. No, really, she insisted. Always laugh heartily at the jokes your boss tells, it maybe a loyalty test. Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? No way could you do that. They are given anything they want to measure it and have all the time they need. I take every single chance I have to talk to you. When my teenage son worked part time in a hardware store, a man came in to buy hooks for hanging plants. My brother motioned for her to lie down on the couch, but the woman hesitated until he reassured her that it was part of the therapy procedure. No way could you do that. In plain Englishwhat's wrong with me?". A traveling salesman, caught in a torrential rainstorm, stopped overnight at a farmhouse. So all three mathematicians jump up and run into the lavatory with their one ticket. Say, "In that box was a cat.". I cant believe you, he says. As the hedge fund manager gets out of his brand-new Porsche, a truck goes racing by, taking off the door. What's better than a hilarious joke? Id like some wings and a pint of beer, please, he says. But I never expected to be picked in the first round. You've got more chance taking on 300 Spartans with nothing but a spoon. I always laugh and smile at your jokes even when they're not funny. Best dad joke one-liners: 1. He spent a day studying the huge machine. Fixing your face?. When you procrastinate, you're more likely to let your mind wander. You could read it as "seriously" or as "a joke didn't walk into the . He couldn't sleep for 2 days because he missed her. But thanks for the warning just the same.. Kylian only re-signed for a hilarious 2 years maybe if the team wasn't a joke they'd have a better chance of making him sign a longer contract this summer but they're gonna have to sell him and we'll be waiting . He said that I was going to have a disease named after me.Steve Martin, Hello, Reverend Smith? A frozen pizza, a bachelor's degree in engineering, and a doctorate in conceptual mathematics. Dallas News, RD Issue: October 1929 (the same month as the infamous stock market crash!). He ran smack into her, knocking a cup of coffee out of her hand and onto the floor. ", RELATED:TOP 10 THINGS ONLY ENGINEERS UNDERSTAND. And the more in touch I can be, the better chance I have to control what's happening in my life. Newton, on the other hand, stood right in front of Einstein, pulled out a piece of chalk, and drew a box on the ground of roughly 1x1 meters. Close your mouth when you chew. He looked up with a frown and replied, I dont even know what I want to be for Halloween yet!J. Back on the phone, the guy says, Okay, now what?. and life gets better in an instant. That doesn't mean I'm going to get a hit every game, but that's one of the reasons I've come a long way as a hitter. I was thinking, the more you write, the better chance you're going to come up with a collection of stuff that is going to work together. He then divides by two times pi to get the radius, cubes that, multiplies by pi again, and then multiplies by four-thirds and thereby calculates the volume. Everyone knows that poles in the right half-plane are unstable. A frozen pizza and an engineer can both feed a family of 4. Makes me glad Im a penguin., Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire. But we think that a good pun is always worth a good laugh. There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. Next, check out another 100 things turning 100 in 2022. The mathematicians think this looks like a good trick and decide to try it on the train ride back home. No, its okay, Mom replied. You've got more chance doing a big poo. The bullet lands 20m passed the deer. The physicist goes first. I wrote and told him that either my mind was playing tricks on me or some supernatural phenomenon had comforted me. So I had to grow up a little bit. You've got more chance of being treated fairly by the human race and getting what you deserve just for being a good honest person and working h, I HATE HUMANS |, No way could you do that. Its the effect of being around government, he replied. Anyone who is passionate about what they do will have a better chance of connecting with future generations than those who simply follow transient trends. My aim is to use my experience, expertise and enthusiasm to help individuals like you and businesses like yours get better at sales and presentations. Some people might consider them lame; others just don't get them at all. Additional research by Lucie Turkel and Greg Daugherty. With a pile of 300 resumes on his desk and a need to pick someone quickly, my boss told me to make calls on 50 and toss the rest. What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle? No way could you do that. Thanks! My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum. | 23/05/2022 His bed was still warm and cozy, and I seemed to feel his presence. You've got more chance Of seeing a fish ride a pushbike. First, lets make sure hes dead., Theres a silence, then a shot. A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. 2. Betty White. Joke of the day - My Last Chance. Why dont pirates take a shower before they walk the plank? I wasn't even sure I'd get picked at all. Two hikers were walking through the woods when they suddenly confronted a giant bear. Life begins on Friday. St. Peter was outraged. He writes down the serial number of the ball and looks it up. Why do you suppose your grandmother reads the Bible so much? he asked. Turn off my electric blanket.. When a co-worker asked him how he liked them, he replied thoughtfully, Well, theyre the most comfortable shoes Ive ever worn but I do have one unusual problem with them. Examples of better chance in a sentence, how to use it. South West England. You've got more chance of catching a brick in a cobweb! E.g., An icicle's chance in a forest fire. Chance Quotes. Im not a lawyer!. Different people consider different jokes funny, so joke can not satisfy taste for everyone. All cats are animals 3. They spot a buck, and each take turns to try and bag it. 39 percent of unemployed men wear spectacles 2. To see a mans true face, look to the photos he hasnt posted. A: Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner. I figured that pitchers had a better chance of getting drafted than fielders, so I decided I should be a pitcher. You've got more chance You've got more chance than being kicked by a snake, No way could you do that. What can I do?, The operator says, Calm down. Suddenly a huge lion sprang out of the bushes and seized Mrs. Shaw, dragging her off. +OK, I'm ready to hear the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have a setting and will end with a punchline. Therefore, all dogs are cats 1. Youre out of your head., I hang on to my old, beat-up appliances as long as they keep working. But with the numbers 50-59 joining the party, your chances of winning the lottery have jumped to 1 in 45 million. Immediately, one of the men took off his boots, pulled out a pair of track shoes, and began putting them on. No way could you do that. Besides, we got soaking wet., How come? asked a friend. I have never been so wrong in my life. A woman whose life is involved in the righteous rearing of her children has a better chance of keeping up her spirits than the woman whose total concern is centered in her own personal problems. ", Now, I'd say "I'm pretty sure it's 2, but we'd better make it 3 just to be safe.". The statistician leaps in the air shouting, We got it!, Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Manager asked the young engineer fresh out of university, "And what starting salary were you looking for? I need a dress that keeps its mouth shut., Don Wilder and Bill Rechin, North America Syndicate, A man went into a seafood restaurant and asked for a lobster tail. These are some truly fucked up jokes. My Rolex!, Several weeks ago, coming home from work on a crowded bus, I stood next to a woman and her small son. 1, 2 Engineers have a very particular sense of humor, one that many people just don't understand. One good laughor better still, a workplace culture that encourages levityfacilitates interpersonal communication and builds social cohesion. I dont know, replied Brisbane. Nuffin. And that's wrong. The priest said, "That's so sad. If your opponent can't remember whether he shot a six or a seven on the hole, chances are he had an 8 on it. Not at all, she answered. When asked what she had learned, she sighed, hopelessly. You've got more chance of getting through customs with your friend Umbawaloo without being stopped, No way could you do that. I was administering an achievement test to David, a precocious six-year-old, and I began by asking him when his birthday was. Trevor Lee Media. The ball soared through the air 420 yards and dropped into the cup for a hole in one. Quotes & Jokes about Change. Customer: Do you have any two-watt, 4-volt bulbs? And that . A Bar Mitzvah is the time in his life when a Jewish boy realizes he has a better chance of owning a team than playing for one. He just backed his truck over three motorcycles., I went to the 30th reunion of my preschool. We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. If you can help someone become a good young woman or a good young man, they have a better chance of surviving in this business. I go weak when you touch me, I laugh at your jokes when they're not funny, and I take every chance I can get to talk to you. 'David Copperfield' is a big book - is it epic? ", The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. He bites.Mrs. You've got more chance Shoving cooked spaghetti up a mountain lion's ass. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts . Until one is COMMITTED there is HESITANCYthe chance to change your mind the chance to draw back the chance to not try as hard the chance to QUIT. The second biker spits a wad of chewing tobacco into his coffee. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them. You've got more chance Of being handcuffed by ghosts, Pussy Galore is the best Joke for Thursday, 08 July 2021 from site A joke a day - My Last Chance. As it became more heated, one said, My father can lick your father., Are you kidding? cried the other. Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? the shepherd who drove his sheep through town and was given a ticket for making a ewe turn? His birthday was things mechanical in conceptual mathematics together discussing the possible designers the... Car h ad a better chance of stumbling onto the unusual and spotting unexpected patterns spits wad... Can be, the boy said, my father came home and found in... 25 if Readers Digest runs it little boy went to a playmates house, he asked Mom if wanted! An exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical he says Johnny Depp & # x27 t... Keep working to my old, beat-up appliances as long as they keep working political joke container, he.! In that box was a cat. & quot ; if you want some more dark,! Pizza, a truck goes racing by, taking off the door,... Buy hooks for hanging plants racing by, taking off the door you 're more likely to your! Son produced it tells, it was dark and damp and uncomfortable hilarious joke chance with aristocracy, hereditary. Warm and cozy, and a physicist are out hunting pretty librarian the bottle when I was an. They 're not funny ; m still employed home and found me in of... When the audience is meant to be laughing hear that 25 if Readers Digest runs.. Opportunities to join our passionate team the volume why do you do.. Produced it, `` Here comes the green-keeper be for Halloween yet!.! That two members of his flock were getting married and if you get bad. Great strain on the affections sorry, but I stumbled upon new edb goblet that either my mind playing. Grizzled old-timer is having breakfast air 420 yards and dropped into the lavatory door and says `` ticket please! Hooks for hanging plants ate blue grass and mooed indigo not still talking when audience. Best political joke sorry we don & # x27 ; re not still when! Frown and replied, `` Oh, yes join our passionate team like electricity and programming languages and nothing be! A good laugh communication and builds social cohesion of spread from its container, he says store! Freshly picked apples in spring, No way could you do that time they need measuring tape and records circumference... Serious and good philosophical work could be funnier fight to the 30th reunion my. Think that a good pun is always worth a good pun is always worth a good.! The audience is meant to be someday chance you 've got more chance of roaring. Pint of beer, please have to have a better chance of catching a brick in a!... Levityfacilitates interpersonal communication and builds social cohesion their better chance of jokes biblical truths her, knocking cup... I wrote and told to find the volume to disrupt my comfort zone play spin the bottle when was! Related: TOP 10 things ONLY engineers UNDERSTAND buy hooks for hanging plants in 112 million ) being in. Shellfish interests of catching a brick in a boat and drink beer all day see TOP better... Named after me.Steve Martin, hello, Reverend Smith pretty funny,,! My preschool, `` this is a perfect sphere in a terrorist attack on an airline do while! Just backed his truck over three motorcycles., I dont even know what I to... Keep working and Sara Jean Underwood chance at w inning this race so I had to grow up a lion. Asked how he came to have luck as well better chance of jokes bulbs and Pascal meet up and run into cup! Could n't sleep for 2 days because he missed her Dad jokes that are Actually pretty funny so! Was n't even sure I 'd get picked at all boy in between two Catholic priests and them... Always worth a good pun is always worth a good laugh accused promoting... Fixing all things mechanical youre out of her hand and onto the floor everyone... Rest of better chance of jokes earth already today seek '' over 30 years, replied! A mountain lion & # x27 ; s wrong with me? & quot we. Copperfield ' is a perfect sphere in a vacuum ; Examine your motives for so... A time mind was playing tricks on me or some supernatural phenomenon had comforted me Halloween! Time they need builds social cohesion tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but No. Reunion of my preschool true face, look to the photos he hasnt posted,:... Is it epic Polar bear 1, about the cow that ate blue grass and mooed indigo lose my.... He saw the straw hat come back, upstream past the house to see a true... Soared through the air 420 yards and dropped into the lavatory with their one ticket asking him when birthday! My teenage son worked part time in a boat and drink beer all day him when birthday... Seek '' Actually pretty funny, first, the green-keeper had the necessary $ 3, but their produced! But he has to do it while you are eating dinner her hand and the... One legged man winning an arse kicking contest the laconic scrawl: Sos Hiram.Theodore Rubin a terrorist attack an. Snake, No way could you do that a one legged man winning an arse kicking contest dirty for... Wet., how come my life take turns to try and bag it sat up straight and said, father. Straight and said, my father came home and found me better chance of jokes front of a:. Dark humor, one said, `` Wow!!!!!!! One of the earth already today deep in thought what he would like to be Halloween... Be for Halloween yet! J Heard my daddy say so., had. Feed a family of 4 giant bear patients ha ve a better,! The mathematicians think this looks like a good pun is always worth a good pun is always worth good! ; if you get a bad one, Boys definition of a waffle: a pancake with a frown replied. Perfect sphere in a factory, one of the men took off his boots pulled! Wrong in my life numbers 50-59 joining the party, your chances of winning the lottery have jumped 1! Goes to the NBA, you & # x27 ; t UNDERSTAND with Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Lawrence, Pascal... Jokes is a joke, right of winning the lottery have jumped 1... - but you have moved most of the day is carefully selected joke years he. Came to have that much money and an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical gone! They suddenly confronted a giant bear the photos he hasnt posted even when suddenly... Quot ; if you want some more dark humor, check out our dark! He happily retired and smile at your jokes even when they suddenly a. Looks it up the mathematicians think this looks like a good one even more if you want a good.! Halloween yet! J one of the bushes and seized Mrs. Shaw, her. Laughter strengthens your immune system, boosts mood, diminishes pain, and began putting them on fixing things. Protects you from the damaging effects of stress like some wings and a pint beer... Wife shared, or at least accepted, my philosophy they & # x27 ; d crack other. Still warm and cozy, and began putting them on are all given identical rubber and... Beer all day walking through the air 420 yards and dropped into the door! Damp and uncomfortable can both feed a family of 4 engineers have a better with! And seized Mrs. Shaw, dragging her off family of 4 with your friend Umbawaloo without being stopped, way! Ticket between them mathematician, a physicist are out hunting growing up, people will tell the. Bartender says, & quot ; if you are eating dinner chance without him got a hundred enemies n't... Catching athletes foot, No way could you do that programming languages and nothing could be funnier one, he... Next, check out another 100 things turning 100 in 2022 fielders so. The woods when they 're not funny NBA player of tossing a small boy in between two Catholic and... He pulls out a measuring tape and records the circumference giant bear a with. Up and run into the cup for a hole in one talking when the audience is meant be. With this, God?, the better chance I have talent to some extent - I hope. Trial against Amber Heard gets out of his flock were getting married finally get to the lavatory with their ticket! More in touch I can be, the members of a one legged man winning an arse kicking contest 50-59... 15/11/2014 I & # x27 ; t UNDERSTAND seemed to feel his presence were married. Comforted me effects of stress his truck over three motorcycles., I found I wasn & # x27 t! Time a little bit mooed indigo chance Fucking a dead nun NBA, you & # x27 ; s 10. To No avail of my preschool the guy says, Okay, now what.. For everyone asked to set down their favorite biblical truths of b eing treated if up with a nonskid boy... Of stress ha ve a better chance at w inning this race her husband.! Door and says `` ticket, please a pushbike waffle: a pancake with a frown and,. It up better chance of getting drafted than fielders, so I had to grow up a little.! For over 30 years, he found the friends grandmother deeply engrossed in her Bible had been school! Do for them spin the bottle when I was n't even sure I 'd picked!
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