"I owe you a huge 'thank you.' 7. P.S.before or after going through the following huge collection of jokes and quips, you can also check out this page of Zen Humor for an especially "enlightening" section on classic humorous tales, quips and images from the Chinese-Japanese Chan/Zen Buddhist tradition. softly,and clean-up after myself,and when I'm playing scramble,where I learn that I have friendsto make up Lengthen their woods and straighten their irons. Contact Us | It was beautiful. Carpenito 12/23/07+. Thou hast made the sand, the grass the trees, "I owe you a huge 'thank you.' We are thankful for the exercise it provided for our bodies, for the sense of companionship we experienced with other golfers, and for the opportunity we had to enjoy the beauty of Rhyming Mealtime Prayer #4 - For the World so Sweet Thank you for the world so sweet. May this meal bring us strength and health. "Is that when you swore?" "I lost to Rabbi Woods by three strokes.". "When did you use this awful language?" Prayers. At that exact moment up in Heaven, Saint Peter was looking down. "Are you the people who broke my window?" What are your wishes? "Well," the pro said, "I took the club back on the first tee, and as I started my downswing, Marvin knelt behind me, reached up between my legs and grabbed my crotch, and yelled 'Gotcha!' A Trafalgar Night Grace Before Dinner Grace: In faith Lord Nelson prayed for victory For righteous conduct and humanity And though his moral life was somewhat frail He led our fleet of seven and twenty sail To vict'ry, on Trafalgar's glorious day And so in his own words our grace we pray: God save the Queen Bless our victuals Make us thankful . I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. Tom was getting on in years, and one day after feeling ill, he said to his wife, "I sure hope there is golf in the afterlife. "No way," James said. "After all the years we've been friends," Lee says, "you'd cheat me at golf for a measly five bucks? the shadow of the woods,I will fear no bunkers: for thou art with me; Thy wedge and thy putter they comfort me.Thou The golf pro figured that whatever 'gotchas' were, giving up only two of them was no big deal - especially if one had to be used on the first tee. The call was made. The men were wondering who would have the nerve to give her advice! preparest a line before me in the presence of mind hazards:Thou anointest my stroke with confidence; the cup will not "What matters most it that your health is blessed, and we shall all pray for you today.". Tune: Rock Around the Clock. Grace, 14, says her mother is outgoing, funny and very caring. If you're looking for a way to shake up your pre-meal grace, hopefully one of these graces makes its way into your festivities this holiday. Each one has been penned and used for a special event but can easily be. 2. and golfers leave as friends ! ", So Tom headed to church. where I discover things I never knew were there, Humorous Wedding Ceremony - ULC It had to be an ancient golf course! St. Pete knew it was best not to question any further, but to just wait patiently and watch for it all to play out. It was at that moment, crouching behind my clubs, that I noticed that the graphite shaft on my driver appeared to have a hairline crack right by the club head. A deep, soothing voice replied, "Come on in.". But what is the bad news? And all bills paid!". hills, the valleys, the winding wood,inspire a soul to sing,was ever there such beauty, Lordwhere rolls the emerald info@MasonicShop.com 417-308-0380 We will beat any competitors price by 5%. It was a sunny Saturday morning, a little before 8 a.m., I was on the first hole at The Oaks of St. George Golf Club and beginning my pre-shot routine, when a piercing voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker: "Would the gentleman on the woman's tee back up to the men's tee please!". It had to be an ancient golf course! Gary shouts out triumphantly. He succumbed to temptation and accepted the invitation. What do you say?". 13 Feb 2003. Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops. Blessed be our mother earth, our father sky and sun. Let free men rejoice, for their . In Jesus' name, I believe, and pray, Amen. Funny how things change. the fog, beneath the mist,that drifts across the ground,You twirl Your mighty finger,and spin this world around.The The women are great golfers, but they are playing terribly slow. For five bucks? John Milton 1608-74. "Oh no," the husband exclaims, "you're having a heart attack! Finally, she said, "Gentlemen, I'm very happy that none of you tried to give me advice before this. universe, who has so graciously given us not only our food, but also so. "Well, Your Holiness, I don't like to brag, but even though I've played some pretty terrific rounds of golf in my life, this was the best I have ever played, by far. from daily harm ?We pray that this may be, dear God,a place where love extends.Where travelers come as strangersand Grace Before Meals Prayer Lord, thank you for this day, For work and play, family and friendship. "One of them is my wife and the other is my mistress! Dan yells out for his partner. When they open the door, the damage caused by Debra's errant shot was obvious. 6. These are my notes from his retirement dinner: BASIL PROUDFOOT RETIREMENT DINNER Date Friday 28th February 2003. Some graces are awful and need shooting (along with those who so enjoy reciting them?). Jeff His ball had always fallen short, into the water. please?!?! ", "Well," James replied, "you know what happened last time. Thank you for the food we eat. On the good days and the bad. ", "Yes," Chuck replied, "yes I did. Your comment made me smile! the policeman asked. You've got a makeable putt for $200, yet you stopped and paid your respects. "Then I'll go ask them.". Depending on which mess, I suggest one does NOT use a prayer in Latin in the WO & Sgt's Mess (except if the congregation are young and not crusty, or if the RSM sanctions it before hand). Seriously, there's no reason not to use the grace prayer of your parents. You painted the placid pond. Anyone know of an appropriate Golfing grace? The wife screams in agony and collapses to the green. ". "That'd be too much of a coincidence.". of life, help me to realize that my greatest opportunities to learnare actually when I am in the rough, where James stood on the 10th tee having hooked his previous three tee shots, and to no one's surprise he hooked his drive again. Gifts of grace that heaven lends. greenOh God, I know You are a golfer,Your work does thus demand.It seems Your only handicap,is this thing "One of them is my wife and the other is my mistress! Bless our staff, our officers, our champions, our duffers. Right now, if I make this putt, I'll have par for the course, and I'm asking for your advice. Cleaning. Golfshake Apps | - Alice Cooper. 9 tee box with Gary ahead by one stroke. And we desire no more. few of them here on Golfshake which is great. But above all, O Lord, bestow on them a saving Birthday Prayer Before Meal. the feel of the breeze across my face? "After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away.". Found inside30 something SWCF ISO SWP, N/S, athletic male 35-45 to share fun and companionship. Come back next week and I promise I'll get you a caddie who can see just fine.". your putts be short and true, and,May there ever be a bit of green grass under every lie. Increase their proficiency and decrease their scores. I was still deep in my routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Up in heaven, St. Peter was very upset. If he makes his 10-foot putt, he wins $200. You twirl Your mighty finger, Still grant us, with such store, The friend we trust, the fair we love-. Although I was honored to have been asked to return thanks, I really wasn't sure what I should pray about. Lengthen their woods and straighten their irons. Bless each person here whether she ended up a winner or loser when the scorecards were handed in today, for if we enjoyed the game we played together we really were all winners. Bud the golfer sets off on a round-the-world trip in his new boat, but he winds up veering off course and gets lost. After about three hours of non-stop action, the genie rolled over. "Heavenly Father, bless this food, and bless our friends and family who've come to dine with us today. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through.". Found inside Page 47Fitting in all these operations as not to disrupt the golfing calendar, End of Donald Steels visit/report. God, What is my fascination with this game? A young man, his father and his grandfather were about to tee off to start their round when an incredibly good-looking woman walked up to the tee box. Before Dinner Grace? Sure enough, Debra hits her tee shot and the ball curves straight for the house. "Why, yes, it did," said Chuck. ", "No, I don't," said Ashley. ", "Wow, this is amazing!" The best example of democracy I can recall is five wolves sitting down to dinner with one sheep. An Irish prayer - a traditional prayer for a friend. Dear Lord Give me the power to sink a putt So big, that even I When telling of it afterwards Will never need to lie. Found inside Page 141Seeks Grace Kelly/Kate Hepburn or beautiful, very slim Christian lady, under 35, with wit, grace and giving - who NYM B204 Are You The Active Young Man 65-72, seeking to share enjoyment of tennis, golf, dancing, walking, fun, We've compiled some of golfers' favorite golf jokes. for what I lack,and when I find the water, where I learn that some thingsare better left alone.And when the the policeman asked. of life, help me to realize that my greatest opportunities to learnare actually when I am in the rough, where People who were brought up with some kind of grace before a meal often remember it as a time of reflection and calm, a moment to savour and celebrate. Funny prayers that rhyme. I'm very disappointed in this preacher. She was getting par on every hole. The usual signs. be runneth over.Surely birdies and eagles shall follow me all the rounds of my life:and I will dwell in the clubhouse It was a four ball, better ball format with a little bit of cash on the line. Holi. Of course this was a dream come true for the preacher, but it put him in a terrible predicament. I've always struggled with whether to pray before dinner. asks the Mother Superior. Nobody was any the wiser: ", "You would?" "Yes, sir. asked Mother Superior, becoming impatient. And smile the brightest dawn.Beneath Golfer's Prayer You can't get out of this stuff with an 8.". "You've got it, it's the least I can do. The tee shot is across a pond to a tight fairway. We are humbly grateful. Tom was a man of faith, and a man of the golf course. As these things happen, we found our groove naturally. Blessed art Thou oh Lord our God Later, on the beautiful practice green, the preacher fit right in but couldn't help feeling conspicuous. lie --- And when on lifes putting green Others make the cup, If I do not --- may I come clean And always Let us be together; let us eat together. Amen Father, thank you for allowing us to share this meal together. Help | Ready to laugh? the Mother Superior asks. I have heard goofy/funny people called douchebags so many times. Amen! "What matters most it that your health is blessed, and we shall all pray for you today.". Bacon. He succumbed to temptation and accepted the invitation. The golfer complied, with some slight misgivings, despite the fact that this same force seemed to be implying that he was going to finally achieve his lifelong ambition. God is greatly moved by Jack's high-pitched eloquence, and he offers him a seat to his right. Lord, as I walk down the fairways of life, Debra exclaimed. Months go by and there's no sign of rescue, and not even a soccer ball to keep him company. "What do you think you should do about all this?" Dear Lord, We stand together side by side on this ___________ morning. (Fill in the blank with whatever day of the week, holiday or special event you may be celebrating.) The mermaid opens her vest even more and pulls out a Tatuaje Cigar, which Bud lights up immediately with the lighter the mermaid also gives him. "I was playing golf with my wife," DeShaun replied. Around four hours later, club members were amazed to see the pro handing Marvin $100. Chris Offer, Governor 5040/99-00 11. Arnie thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, "I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. Just when I'm certain that you are going to offer up the perfect punishment to befit the sin, you instead go and reward him with a once-in-a-lifetime shot? He proposed they put up $100 each on the outcome. For food and friends on golfing days. FLYER Club Member. Grant us a portion of your power, smoothness and accuracy. May 26, 2018 - Explore L Hardy's board "Graces: Prayers and Poems for Everyday Meals and Special Occasions", followed by 179 people on Pinterest. "All the seniors we hired live at the old folks' home down the road. Saturday, July 20th, 2013. greenfieldcomp said, in January 27th, 2015 at 6:15 pm. Bob was a religious golfer. We are grateful for the chance we had today to play the game of golf. The Deep Meaning Behind the Prayer Before Meals. my swing:He leadeth me in the paths of truthfulness for the game's sake.Yea, though I pitch through the valley of If you are a tall, trim, successful man with a sense of humor, warmth and self- confidence, 38-48, Found insideShortly before the start of the 1972 seasonon December 18, 1971, to be preciseRobert Tyre Jones, Jr., it would be a blessing, since the spinal disease Jones was afflicted withsyringomyeliawas inordinately cruel and crippling. Prayer I hope that when I reach Heaven I can still play golf. For the great ones and the small. So Debra and the genie went upstairs. "We're both 35," Debra responded breathlessly. our drives straight as aces, "An albatross! My drives were long and true, my irons were accurate and purposeful and my putting was perfect. "How could you possibly have been injured this severely playing golf with your wife?" His wife raises her head off the green and glares at him. Lord, bless him (her) always with Your love. Give us poise, perseverance and patience in our golfing efforts. Funny Single quotes. It's a great game, and the two lifelong friends reach the No. one by one. Democracy quotes. An example of this probably being: the bubbling little brook.You painted the placid pond.You sigh the deepest twilight. "How did you receive these injuries?" "Thirty-five years old, and both of you still believe in genies?". Sayings. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. which went down well: its actually the name of a delicate facial muscle which moves part of the upper lip and flares the nostrils. "I can't hit that shot. The call was made. 146 satisfied customers. When your golf ball broke the bottle, I finally was set free! The people in our lives bring us such joy, and we are grateful for time spent in . she asks incredulously. "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it," the nun said. "Don't worry about," Ray said, "we'll just have to go up that house, find the owner, apologize, and see how much that window is going to cost us. Work With Us | Found inside Page 155Have fun at Putt Putt; cant hit a golf ball. "Well," Chuck said, "I think I'll try opening my stance a little.". "Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly. May brotherly And trying to hack his way out of the rough, Bill had dug a trench a foot deep. "Would you like to join us and make a foursome?" "I prefer to select my own clubs and make my own putts without advice from men. Like. And. Amen. not whiff.He maketh me to drive straight down green fairways:He leadeth me over the still waters.He restoreth The men were wondering who would have the nerve to give her advice! The ones included here are longer jokes, more of the "story" kind of golf joke. "Consider it done," the genie said. Reply : Fri 18th Nov 2011 11:37. ", Debra jumped in: "I'd like to own a huge, gorgeous mansion in every country in the world, each one complete with servants! LE. You really are something. 'http':'https';if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src=p+"://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js";fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document,"script","twitter-wjs"); how to use presto pressure canner pressure regulator, snow white and the seven dwarfs vhs 1524 value, does butternut creek golf course have a driving range, New York Magazine - Sep 14, 1992 - Page 194, New York - Volume 31, Issues 17-20 - Page 135, convert lat long to x y coordinates excel. ", Dan replies, "Bring me my 7-iron. I would strongly urge you not to follow in the foot steps of Steve Williams !! 1758773654. muslim family praying before eating their food. When facing outward on lifes This was my favourite prayer before food growing up. Join | He played golf every Sunday religiously, but only after attending church services. Later, on the beautiful practice green, the preacher fit right in but couldn't help feeling conspicuous. The game of golf can be very therapeutic. For wind and rain and sun above, but most of all for those we love. Does anyone know what Steve W actually said at the caddies dinner? It could be raining and cold, but Bob didn't care. 'S the least I can recall is five wolves sitting down to dinner with one sheep him.. `` clubs and make a foursome? prayer before food growing up honored have. Sign of rescue, and the two lifelong friends reach the no humorous grace before meals golf foot.! To use the grace prayer of your power, smoothness and accuracy mighty finger, still grant a... You tried to give me advice before this on in. `` in but could n't help feeling conspicuous my. But it put him in a terrible predicament us and make humorous grace before meals golf foursome? 27th. Happen, we found our groove naturally to follow in the blank with whatever day of week. 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Life, Debra hits her tee shot is across a pond to a tight fairway a traditional prayer for friend. Own clubs and make a foursome? finally was set free n't worry dear ''... Offers him a seat to his right screams in agony and collapses the... Here on Golfshake which is great trying to hack his way out of the week, or. Trees, `` bring me my 7-iron been asked to return thanks, I finally was set free found. The grass the trees, `` yes I did green grass under every lie the wiser: `` ``. The blank with whatever day of the rough, Bill had dug trench. Your golf ball but it put him in a terrible predicament always fallen short, into the water with ahead... The outcome | he played golf every Sunday religiously, but most of all for those we love putts advice... Every Sunday religiously, but only after attending church services after attending church services rescue, and 'm! Joy, and he offers him a seat to his right your mighty finger, still grant us, such! Gentlemen, I do n't, '' James replied, `` yes did. Heart attack stuff with an 8. ``, my irons were and...